I Regret to Inform You That I Have Taken Ill

by Will Pritchard (distilled from student e-mails)

I’m not feeling very well.
I’ve been feeling ill all day.

I am feeling very ill. I’m feeling
rotten today after a long feverish night

with little sleep. I have some problems with depression.
I have been sick with some horrible bug

for the last four days. I came down with the flu Sunday,
and haven’t been feeling well all week. I woke up

with a migraine this morning, but it’s not getting any better
so I’m breaking out the big guns (a.k.a. Zomig). I’ve been feeling sick

for most of the weekend and woke up today with terrible back pain
and a sore, swollen throat. I hit my head really hard at practice yesterday.

I now need to wait for the rash on my face to go away.
I’ve got a doctor’s appointment this morning in Newberg.

I was unable to attend any classes today due to a case
of head lice, of which I spent the day curing myself.

I came down with a virus yesterday, and I am still recovering.
I inadvertently drank rotten milk last night and woke up

not feeling too great. I suspect I ingested some toxins during
my Bio Lab, or maybe just need to recuperate from a persistent cold

I can’t seem to entirely shake. Either way, I’m sick.
It’s been a rough morning.

Will Pritchard, assistant professor of English, specializes in 17th- and 18th-century British literature. His book, Outward Appearances: The Female Exterior in Restoration London,will be published by Bucknell University Press in 2008. This poem appeared in the 2006-07 edition of the Lewis & Clark Literary Review.